Still Kicking

It's been a little while since my last post.  I'm excited to see so many page views and the couple of comments.  Especially since when I was going through this, I felt on my own and that there wasn't anyone who knew what I was going through or anyone who could help.

So it has been 6-1/2 months.  Since my last post of starts, stops, and starts, I have hit a milestone for me-- 23 minutes!  I know, I have friends running 23 miles, but running is all about self (well, at my age) Also, winter has been brutal, and it took a couple of runs outside, in the snow, with my dog, to discover that I needed to stop running in the slippery conditions...unfortunately.  I was having some real posterior Achilles issues, and after emailing my doc, he said to take a day off.  I took off 3 days, until it didn't hurt anymore. I'm so done with pain.  I've continued the swimming and water running about 2-3 times per week, and I am on the bike trainer (did I mention winter has been brutal?) about 5 days a week, and I have just added the running to what I already do.  I am terrible at "the exercises" but here is what I have been consistently doing:
1) 20 toe taps off a step (every day after running); both feet
2) 3 sets of 20 lunges  about 3-4 times a week
3)  one leg balance with pick up sticks, and squats about 3 times a week.
4) roll my foot on the TheraBand , every day after running
5) use The Stick to roll out my calves, every day after running

I mix it up so it doesn't become too tedious.  I'm also out of the soft boot at night, which I LOVE!  Really LOVE.  And I am not icing! So I am cautiously optimistic.

I also need to remind myself of how far I have come.  Last year at this time I had just finished wearing a stupid boot for 8 weeks-- prescribed by an ortho who didn't run and didn't really know what to do.  Last year at this time, it hurt every morning to get out of bed and hobble down the stairs.  By the end of the school day, my Achilles hurt enough that I didn't want to stand, or move, just cry.  The condition consumed me.  I'm not much of a complainer, so I don't think people around me realized how much I physically hurt.  So, I can say, at this point, that I did make the right decision to have surgery.  Whew! That's a relief.  My goal is not speed; I still have hopes for that later.  My goal is to be up and running for our family trip out West this summer.  Maybe I will even log a few miles on the Deadwood-Mickelson Trail in SD.  sigh.  So while I am perhaps not running as much as my doc said I'd be, I am not worried.  As I said, running is about the self.  I run because it makes me happy.  I feel like I am finding my old friend after a long hiatus.  Still working on the trust, but it sure feels pretty damn awesome.

Keep the comments coming.  I would love to hear others' experiences.

Back on the Wagon

I'm back on the wagon, albeit a very creaky, rickety wagon.  PT John gave me the "OK" to try running again.  I've run 5 minutes the past 8 out of 10 days. (Actually, I added another 5 minutes yesterday...) Slow. Awkward.  It's ok in that I haven't experienced any additional swelling out of it.  I'm a bit stiff in the mornings, but no real pain.  Only one day, on an indoor track (as opposed to outside on a flat field) did I encounter a flash of moving pain, enough to cause me to stop before my 5-minute indulgence.  I'm guessing a tight plantar fascia, so I am back to wearing my Strassburg Sock at night.   It's helping.  I also feel like I am still dropping my right hip.  I will further discuss this with PT John.  If anyone has suggestions to that, let me know.

I'm still continuing the hot/cold bath.  I've added strengthening exercises-- one-legged balancing while picking up scattered objects (a variation on the childhood games of 52 pick-up or pick-up sticks) and squats on the upside down Bosu ball.

As I reflect on the last five months (and 2 days since surgery, but who's counting?)....and the last five years..... I am walking without pain.  I am able to stand all day (teaching) without pain and swelling.   It seems that the surgery has helped these symptoms; however, I am still facing the compensations of the last five years.  Non-runners probably don't understand why I keep struggling, running.  I've always felt that anyone can run, no real skills needed; it's the mental game that must be overcome.  The confidence that I can, and I will. It is, by far, the greatest tool in my arsenal for confidence.  That is why I keep struggling, trying to persevere, overcome.

My running friend, Steph, posted an article from The Wall Street Journal, OK, You're a Runner. Get Over It.  on her Facebook page.  Hilarious.  I mostly love the comments from her FB friends condemning this guy as "a very angry jerk."  For us longtime runners, we run because we  love it -- it defines us in a sense, and I think that is why I find this commentary funny, as opposed to cranky.  Worth the read.

TWISTED

It's been a month since my last posting and unfortunately I do not have a ton of awesome news.  After being pink slipped and trying to run on my own, I noticed a feeling of being off-balance.  I truly had a pitter-patter, rather than a pitter pitter or a patter patter.  So I finally connected with a local PT who has helped quite a few other athletes, mainly runners.  He was unavailable during my initial search and is currently not covered under my insurance.  However.... as I tell those who will listen, I will either be running soon, or broke.

He is PT number 5 since this entire ordeal started many years ago, and he is the first who listened to the symptoms as opposed to the "issue" and he wrote things down.  His diagnosis?  My imbalance is real.  My right leg is shorter by about 4 mm (all you minimalist know how big that is) as a result of my right lower back being out of sync (socket...layman terms here; I'm an ESL teacher, not a doctor) which in turn causes my pelvic bone to be twisted.  Additionally, the tightness in my peroneal tendon is because it can't move freely up and down (aliken it to a bicycle pump where the pump can not move up and down smoothly because it is corroded).  Validated and depressed, were my feelings the next week or so, and it really took me a while to dig myself out.

So four weeks later, and I see the new guy again tomorrow, third time.  I am not completely sure my gait is even.  I have been fast-walking, which doesn't "count" enough to make it into my workout log, and not running, yet.  I have been continuing the steamboats, single -foot balances, and squats with a weight.  I can finally say that my squats are getting lower (how low can you go?) and that peroneal tendon is maybe (fingers crossed) loosening up.

So that is my news.  I am still positive about this surgery, although I am still not running.  This is certainly an Odysseus-like epic journey.  However, I do know that I truly tried everything before undergoing surgery.  I promise to update tomorrow if there is any new news.  Cross your fingers for me.  Just a little superstitious when it comes to running.

PINK SLIP

Last Tuesday, my PT gave me the pink slip.  Luckily he's a Facebook friend, so I may still harass him.  I've met some very good people on my journey.  Wish I had met them in other ways, but alas, that was not to be.

Since being fired, I have tried running every other day or so for about 10 minutes.  I do this while walking the dog, Atticus, a white lab who has become a bit marshmellow-like.  So we run together (hopefully he doesn't think I am marshmellow-like).  After warming up by walking, we run about 2 minutes, then walk.  So I am running about 2 of every 5 minutes.  I have no rhyme or reason for doing this, but this liberal girl is really trying to be conservative.  Results?  It's always about the end result.  My ankle is beginning to swell (just a little).  My thought is that it is just a response to new activity...like when I started teaching on my feet all day after a summer of (not by choice) being a couch potato.  So I am not yet worried.  If things don't clear up in the next week or so, I will email my doc...or my PT.  How good is that? Not as good as running, but.

Cold Turkey

So my PT made me run again Tuesday.  On the treadmill.  For 3 minutes.  And it was ok.  Even so the next day.  So today, while walking my dog, I ran off and on, for about 3-4 minutes.  As always, tomorrow will tell.  My PT is about ready to cut me off.  Cold turkey.

I've been reading Out of the Dust with my ELL students and the main character, a piano playing adolescent in the 1930s during the dust storms, tries to play the piano again after her hands have been burned by a freak accident.  She is told to play through the pain to stretch her fingers and skin, to heal.  Text to Self: it is time to run, and stretch through my pain to regain my strength.  My biggest hurdles are deciphering bad pain versus healing pain, running when I am not fast, not being able to pick up where I left off.  Another way to look at it, more positively, running can become my new crush (again).  Those short, quick glimpses that set your heart racing...I'm ready to fall head over heels, again.

School Dayz Blues

Back at school teaching.  This unfortunately coincided with my first attempts at running.  Certainly not a good mix.  I've decided to stop running for a little while.  Month?  Two?  Because I am on my feet most of the day-- there's really no way around it-- and the floors are concrete, the bottom of my heel hurts enough that my brain tells my body not to get up, let alone walk.  For the past week, I have been wearing my Dansko or Chaco sandals.  Not the minimalist shoes that I know and love; however, I need some sort of buffer between my heel and the floor.  Neither shoe has much arch support, so I tell myself and this somehow justifies it in my mind--I've become such the barefoot shoe snob (coffee snob...beer snob, but not snob all by itself). Truth be told, I used to walk to my college classes barefoot.  I went to a small liberal arts, hippie, Quaker school.  Anyway, I am beginning to feel like I can walk around barefoot a little bit, so I am hopeful to be back in my Fivefingers soon.  My PT is not worried, so I am working at not being worried.

Update on my current at home exercises:
1. 100 calf raises (still splitting these up, about 30 per time)
2. calf stretches
3. steamboats (these involve a a couch leg, stretchy tubing/tape tied around couch leg, or if at work, desk leg.  In fact I have 1 at work and two at home, upstairs and downstairs)
4. single leg balance with my 8 year old throwing something at me to catch, usually a stuffed hippo named Hippie

I work to do these twice per day, minimum.

So everyday require motivation to the ultimate goal.  Life certainly gets in the way, and it isn't always easy.  I see the PT once per week as it keeps me honest, and Dr. Nick checks in periodically via email.  I'm walking the dog and can walk the 1/2 mile into town without any trouble.  This in itself is progress.

MY "FIRST"

I took the plunge.  Yesterday after spinning on the trainer for 45 dizzy minutes, I decided to go downstairs and try to run on the treadmill.  I ran barefoot.  3 minutes.  About a 14 minute pace (It's not about speed....yet).  Pain?  No, not really.  Some slight throbbing of the Achilles, but seriously, I no longer trust myself to rate pain on a scale of 1-10, and quite honestly I have difficulty distinguishing from the heel bone and the Achilles.  I do feel the bone, and my guess-- after talking to others who have broken a bone, had bone surgery, lost part of a bone-- they still feel the bone afterwards for quite awhile.  It's not painful, but rather a constant reminder.  A few hours later I could feel my ankle/heel area stiffening up, so I went on a bike ride with my 8-year old.  Not as easy as you might like to think.  He, like his father, is a risk-taker. So we rode a lot of over-grown trails and then up a nice steep hill (on the road).  It did, however, loosen me up.  BTW, I wore my Trek Sport Fivefingers.

Fast-forward to today, a morning that was no different than any other morning since I've been on my feet post surgery.  I rode Phat Shirley out to my favorite horse trails (Infirmary Park), rode around, and then rode home.  About 16 miles.  The nice aspect of cycling is it really requires me to ride evenly on both sides.  No gimping around allowed.  And again, with Phat Shirley, speed doesn't matter.  Courage matters, which I am slowly regaining.  I do a lot of thinking out on the trails, be it running or cycling, and it never fails to amaze me how my self-perception and self-confidence is intrinsically tied to running.  If I liked tattoos, mine would say "I'd rather be running" or, since I seem to lack courage at the moment, a license plate that says, "My other car is my running shoes." Courage.

Anyway, when I returned home, I stretched, hopped on the treadmill for (get ready...) 4! minutes at a slightly faster clip.  Barefoot.  Again, I am slowly regaining the courage.