I've been emotionally short-circuited lately. I surf the web through Joe's New Balance Warehouse, pining for shoes I don't need -- mostly because I've already acquired them. I long to talk running, but have little to add since ... I can hardly remember, as I try to get my brain to signal to my foot that it can, indeed, walk down those stairs without hurting. My poor husband doesn't know what to do with me sometimes when I break into spontaneous bursts of silent tears. Fortunately a spin in my living room or a jog through the swimming pool help to break me out of my destitution. I think I would be a perfect subject for research of running withdrawal. I keep thinking that scientists surely must be able to develop a 10-mile-run endorphin pill. You might wonder how this seemingly diatribe came about?
Yesterday was my 6 week post-surgery check-up. Dr. Nick doesn't think I should start running yet, and while I was expecting this response, it doesn't necessarily make it easier to accept.
The goal is to be able to jump up and down on my foot. So the question became do I feel any pain? It is very hard for me to discriminate pain and pain level, and, at the appointment, I didn't give a very clear response because I just didn't know. Hence, return to my analogy of being short-circuited. Convincing my brain that I can may quite likely be the majority of the battle back. Nick has some fancy word for it that I don't recall at the moment. In order to get past this, Dr. Nick added a few strengthening exercises which I will add to my previously updated exercise list. One exercise is 100 calf raises per day. Seems both daunting-- for the high number, and not-- as it's only a calf raise, but trying these at home...??? ouch! I will need to work up to 100 on 1 foot. The other exercise is balancing on my foot and bouncing a ball off the wall. My husband plans on posting this on YouTube as it should be extremely entertaining. TBA and most likely Rate R for Language.
Fast forward to today's workout at the pool and on the treadmill. At the pool, I did a little walking/jogging in the shallow 3 foot section for about 15 minutes before heading over to the diving well to do more aerobically challenging water running. I had slight discomfort in the heel while in the shallow area, but perhaps a sign of actually working the foot instead of allowing my body to compensate. Deep water running gives me the benefit of weightlessness and the ability to move my legs without a feeling like something isn't working correctly. On the other hand, my walk on the treadmill was no walk in the woods, literally or figuratively. I feel the treadmill is the best gauge for me as to whether or not I am walking consistently with good form. I walked for 15 minutes and had to give 110% concentration to my form, and even then I don't know if I am walking correctly. I have a mirror set up so I can watch how my knees bed and my feet hit. I also rely a lot on feel. I am barefoot, by the way. I realize that I do have pain in my heel, but it is seems to be more overall as opposed to the vice grip feeling from before surgery. I then followed up with "the exercises" and 25 of my 100 calf raises. I was not able to do all 25 on only one foot-- I don't have the strength and, yes, it does hurt. So this is my story after 6 weeks. I have a ways to go. Did the surgery work? I don't know yet. Do I have any regrets? Absolutely not. As I tell my kids, nothing worth having is easy.
